Even Steven

For Christmas one year long ago, Mom gave me a color consultation, but when I called to schedule an appointment, the woman I was supposed to meet with said that she had been hearing voices recently, so we should schedule our time together in the future. Figuring that she had more important things to do than tell me what colors to wear, I didn't call back. Besides, I'm sure I'm a fall as I look really good in the fall.

Which is now. So Ann and I took a driving tour down by Mt. Rainier for a weekend of golds and autumn reds. We went on a loop, climbing over Chinook Pass and White pass as recommended by the Seattle journalist Brian Cantwell.

Friday we took a leisurely drive, stopping a couple of times for short hikes, to Whistling Jack Lodge just over Chinook Pass. Our bay window opened onto golden leaves and a rumbling river. On the lawn, just between us and the river, a carved bear looked really happy about the whole scene. The bear faced the river, so we looked at his bare bear butt. I laughed about the golden mushrooms clustered around his feet, making it look like he had just taken a dump and was awful cheery about it.

Friday night, Ann slapped an intruder in her dreams. In the real world, in my own sleep, the thud of her flat hand across my chest woke me up. She says the slap wasn't in revenge for my act of slumber violence after brain surgery, when I walloped a cowpoke in my dreams and walloped Ann beside me. Still, it's even Steven at last.

The next morning, we thought we'd get away around 10 a.m., but we had breakfast at the lodge's restaurant, and it took an hour for our food to arrive. Ann practically tackled our waitress to ask for some water for me and some hot water for her. I would stay there again, but I'd bring my own breakfast.

When we finally got on our way, we drove to Naches to buy from the last of the summer harvest. Ann reminded me of my favorite Limerick, a limerick that features Naches as Texans say it:

There was an old woman from Natches,
Whose clothes were in tatters and patches.
When asked to compose
On the state of her clothes,
She said, "When ah itchez, Ah scratchez."

In this part of the country, however, they pronounce Naches, "Nah-cheez" so I had to write a new version:

There was an old woman from Natches,
Whose clothes were in tatters and pahcheez,
When asked to compose
On the state of  her clothes,
She said, "When ah itcheez, Ah scrahcheez."

I thought it up on the spot. Really. I should call it "Variations."

Saturday night we stayed in the historic Hotel Packwood, in room 6, where Teddy Roosevelt once stayed. It hasn't changed much since he was there, and fortunately, there were no animal heads jutting from the wall. You had to go down the staircase to see the mountain goat jumping through the wall. I'm not sure what happened to his hind parts.

On the drive back to Seattle today, we stopped for two short and lovely hikes, one to Silver Falls and another to the Grove of the Patriarchs. I can't hike like I used to, but it's nice to remember that there are still places where I can get away from roads and gift shops and ooh and ahh at the beauty of the fall.

Sheila, our GPS, guided us home, and tonight we have a new beer from Kiki to try with our tofu and garbanzo beans. Yum.